14 years ago adoption was just a word.

Adoption.

What does this word mean to me?

If you had asked me this questions 14 years ago. I could have given you every stereotype answer there is out there. I would have said, "how could someone just give their baby away?"        I shutter just hearing how awful that answer sounds now.

I couldn't tell you what open or closed adoption meant. I couldn't tell you where the closest adoption agency was. I couldn't explain to you your rights as a birth mother. I couldn't explain my state laws on adoption. I couldn't have told you one tiny truth about what Adoption truly is at age 18.

Four months before my 20th birthday, I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test. Quickly that word Adoption had a whole new meaning, although I was far from understanding the 'real' definition of adoption. It now had become an option for me as a teenager.

One month later, I was looking through parent profiles (which back in the stone age, when I placed, was one page and one photo). I was confident in my decision of adoption and was ready to make this jump into the unknown. Adoption had now become my choice.

After picking an adoptive couple and sending a you're having a girl care package, I now felt I was sharing this little miracle inside of me with two strangers. It wasn't easy. At this point, she no longer was just mine. She was now a part of their world as well.

Oct. 5, 2000 I delivered a beautiful baby girl. It was miraculous, heart wrenching and beautiful all at the same time. 12 hours later I was wheeled into the hospital nursery so I could hold my precious butterfly. My thoughts were filled with excitement and curiosity. When she was placed in my arms the first thought that came to me was… she is not mine. It stabbed my heart. I sobbed. I knew the truth in this thought and though it was difficult to understand, I knew now Adoption was her path.

Four days later, I'm sitting in a room alone with my little butterfly. I have spent many hours holding her and sharing her with my friends and family, but now it was time to let her fly. She was peaceful and wide eyed as I placed her in the arms of a stranger, asking nothing in return but to love her, guide her and teach her. She was officially now theirs. I was now officially a birth mother.

Adoption started as my option, became my choice, my little butterflies path and is now forever a part of my heart.

Adoption is unlimited, unconditional love between an adoptive couple, a birth mom and a child that feels thicker than blood.

Adoption hears no selfishness, functions outside of the lines of 'normal' and creates a circle of trust.

14 years ago Adoption was just a word. 

Today, Adoption is anything but a word...

it's a blessing!