Birth Mom, Jenna Oleole, tells her story to Parentfinder.com

My Story

            In 2010 I decided to transfer Universities. I moved from my home state of Hawaii to Utah. I had undergone gastric bypass 15 months earlier and was ready to enjoy the new me. Little did I know; this move was going to change the course of my life. I was working on improving my physical appearance and health by losing weight. I was also about to hit rock bottom emotionally.

            I was hanging out with my best friend a lot. He was engaged at the time, but he was the only friend I had in the area that I felt like I could explore the world of being skinny. I knew he would not judge me if I made a few stupid mistakes. I made more than a few stupid mistakes. The first mistake was spending way too much time with an engaged man than is appropriate because he was not engaged to me.

            His fiancé lived out of state and he took the opportunity to cheat on her. He was taking advantage of my emotionally vulnerable state and his fiancé not being around. I found out I was pregnant less than two months after moving Utah. How do I keep going to a religious educational institution that frowns upon pre-marital sex? After talking to my religious leader we decided I could keep going to school because I was wanted to place my baby for adoption.

The father begged me to get an abortion. He said he would pay me back for the cost of the procedure. He was unemployed but taking off for boot camp. He had joined the Air Force Reserve. This meant that even if he had supported me, I would be dealing with the pregnancy mostly on my own. He did not support me. He may have if I had not insisted that he tell his fiancé. I did not think it was fair that they go through with the marriage knowing that I was pregnant with his child.

After she found out about my pregnancy she turned on me. She decided I was the one at fault. She did not think he would cheat on her or believed that he had. Somehow the whole situation was my doing and he did not play a part in any of it. She insisted that he never speak to me again. Apparently they were meant for each other because he obliged. The next time I went to see him he threatened to call the cops to have me removed from the property. I was alone.

Immediately following being kicked out of his house I decided I was placing the baby for adoption. I wanted to finish college. I wanted the baby to have two parents. I wanted the baby to have the opportunities I did. I was also adopted. In fact, all of my siblings were adopted. In my mind adoption was the only choice I had if I wanted this baby to have everything he or she needed.

I contacted a local adoption agency run by my church. They provided me with free counseling, group support, and access to an online database with families that were looking to adopt. This is where my journey really began. I did not have to be alone. I had the tools to help me make it through my pregnancy and find an adoptive family so I could go back to school and prepare myself for eventually becoming a mother some day. I knew this child was not meant to be mine. I was just borrowing him until it was time for him to join his adopted family.