Adoption Stories

Lesily's story has been popular on the Birth Mother Basket blog, so I thought you would all enjoy it here as well. 

 

 Adoption Story

 I had always dreamed of being a mom.  The oldest of four children, I felt like taking care of little ones was just part of who God created me to be.  After meeting my husband and getting married at 19, we decided it would be best for us to wait until we finished college before starting a family.  Then law school came along, and well, I was 26 before we even started trying to get pregnant.  Fast forward seven long and painful years of failed fertility treatments and lost hopes, we knew that it wasn't in the Lord's plan for us to grow our family the traditional way.  

Very long story short, we started praying about adoption, and decided we would pursue a domestic adoption through an agency.  It seemed overwhelming, but we got all the paperwork and home study done, and then it began...the wait!  We were approved in October 2008, went through a failed adoption in December and in February, we met the birth mom of our oldest son, Ian.  Going into this, I have to say that I was SO afraid of an open adoption.  But, the baby wasn't due until the end of May, so I got some time to really know Carie (Ian's birth mom) and we truly fell in love with her.  Before Ian was even born, she became part of our family.  Ian actually ended up being born 6-7 weeks early, so we had time to get to know her even more while we waited weeks for him to be able to come home.  This was a emotional time for my husband and me, but it allowed us to give Ian to the Lord and trust Him completely with the situation.  He was so faithful to both Carie and to us, and I am so grateful for both our son and his birth mom.  In 2010, we started the process again and after a relatively short wait, we were matched with Anna, the birth mom to our youngest son, Flynn.  Unlike Carie, Anna was very young, and so things were a little different, but equally beautiful.  We met Anna in February and Flynn was not due until the end of May (sound familiar?!).  We had several months to get to know each other and again, I was completely amazed by the grace God showed our family.  Anna and her mom were absolutely amazing and they quickly became like family to us too.  When Flynn was born, my husband and I were able to be there at the hospital and care for him from the very first moments of his life.  What a gift Anna gave our family.

It's really hard to describe in words exactly how we feel about adoption.  Looking back on those painful years of infertility, I can see the work the Lord was doing in my life.  I can honestly say I would not have it any other way!  Adoption is such a wonderful blessing to our family, and it is a beautiful picture of God's faithfulness and grace to us over the last several years.  We have such great relationships with both our birth moms and truly, they are family to us.  The selfless choice both Carie and Anna made to place their boys with our family feels almost overwhelming to me.  I love them both more than I could ever say.  We are eternally thankful that they chose to give life to their boys and make us a family...and now we wait for baby #3 :).  

Our Birth Moms

We have always had contact with both of our sons' birth moms.  Ian's birth mom, Carie, lives about 5 hours away, so we see her a few times a year.  She generally comes to visit (with her husband and kids - both older and younger than Ian) and stays with us at our house for a few days.  These are times that I hold near and dear to my heart.  Getting time with her is such a blessing to our family.  Flynn's birth mom, Anna, lives about an hour away and we see her about once a month.  She just graduated from high school and will be going away to college in the fall, so I'm sure that will change a bit, but we're a priority to her, so I'm sure we'll see her often.  She has an amazing story, and she has started sharing her story of teen pregnancy and adoption with the junior high kids she's been mentoring.  I'm excited to see how God will use her story to influence others in her life. 

Q: How has being adoptive parents affected the way you look at life?
A: I see being adoptive parents as an amazing privilege.  I can see the way the Lord has done a work of redemption in our lives - healing our pain of years of infertility, and also in the lives of our birth moms.  Family isn't all about genetics...it's about love.  Life doesn't always happen the way you think it will, and with adoption, our has become much more beautiful than I could ever have imagined!

Q:  What would you say to help educate people on adoption?
A:  People have SO many fears about adoption.  I know I did!  The most common misconception that people have about adoption (specifically our open adoptions) is about the birth moms.  People don't understand why we have such close relationships with them and honestly, sometimes they think we're crazy.  It has been my mission to educate people about our situation.  I get so many questions from well meaning people who are worried that they'll try to take their babies back or that our relationship with them will be confusing to the kids, and on and on.  Birth moms are amazing and they are the ones who gave life to their babies.  Truly, birth moms are the most selfless and amazing women.  They grow their babies in their wombs, taking care of them, having to endure lots of questions and criticism themselves - not to mention the emotional pain involved - in order to place their child with a family who can provide for them in a way that she cannot at that time in her life.  Birth moms are heroes, and I think if people really thought about it clearly, they would agree!  

Q: If you could tell your birth mom anything, what would you say?

A:  I feel like I've told both our birth moms this many times over...Thank you!  You are amazing!  I just really want you to know how much you mean to us and how much we love you.  Not just because you gave us your child and made us a family, but because of who you are.  You really are an amazing woman and we are blessed beyond measure to have you in our family.

In three words describe what adoption means to you?

love ~ redemption ~ forever